$177 Bagel Award

The first $177 Bagel Award goes to the man who created it, Bronx City Councilman, Larry Seabrook. In one of the poorest congressional districts in the nation, Seabrook’s larceny is not only ironic, it’s comic. The Daily News reports today that Cash and Carry Larry, among other things, “funneled Council funds to non-profits he controlled and directed. Including $300,000 for a bogus program to recruit minority-group candidates for the Fire Department.”

His less egregious, but no less iconic offense is doctoring a receipt: instead of being reimbursed $7 for a bagel, he got $177.00. Hence the title of this award. Now I am not naïve, and I know I haven’t heard his side of the story--- but, for the most part, I believe its--- politics as usual in the Bronx, only Larry, you got caught. Congratulations on being the first recipient of the $177 Bagel Award. Maybe next time you won’t be so greedy, because honestly you make it difficult for the rest of us to be quietly inept and corrupt. Shame!

Next up, is the Department of Education. Congratulations on winning the second $177.00 Bagel Award. Tell me is it true that a teacher in the rubber room has collected over $700,000 in salary while doing nothing? Tell me, is it true that said teacher is allegedly a pervert? Wow, holy shit. What a great career choice for a pedophile! I’m serious. Guy’s probably taking in Broadway shows, dinner out, Starbucks, movies, all that good stuff--- on your dime.

You are too much, srsly. The wheels turn so slowly at the DOE that you win the award for sheer lassitude and entropy. Don’t forget to post these teaching jobs on http://www.idonteach.com/. We wouldn’t want any well-qualified perverts (men as well as women) with a bachelor’s degree to miss out on this great career opportunity in education.