Sunday, October 25, 2009

My friends don't know what an unhappy bitch I am when I am sick

What exactly is social utility and how does it differ from going to a corner bar, chatting up a pretty face at a party, or laughing with a colleague?   This is old school; analog not digital.  Am I friends with my friends on Facebook; Planet Friendship. For the most part, aside from my real time friends/family--- the answer is a resounding no.   I would not post: "Am running a real high fever, can someone go to my pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"  I would not post: "It's 2:00 a.m., the witching hour and I'm so lonely."  On Planet Friendship, its all about PR, status.  It's about wit, sarcasm, self promotion.  There are strict rules.

I'm not saying this is a bad thing. 

There are things I like about Planet Friendship.  I like the fact that its a net woven with algorithms and real time people.  I like being a voyeur.  I always read the profiles.  I like to deconstruct them.  I like to imagine the real person hiding underneath.  Every once in awhile somebody posts a video that has me in stitches.  But ultimately we are posing, we are performing--- and again, I'm not saying this is a bad thing.

I don't want to be de-Friended again.  I don't want to piss anybody off.  I enjoy the social strip-tease.  I like controlling how my image is perceived on the web.  My friends on Planet Friendship don't see me when my hair is a mess, when I have dark circles under my eyes, when I schlep to the store in sneakers, rolled up blue jeans and chipped nail polish.  My friends don't know what an unhappy bitch I am when I am sick.  

I save all the bad good times for my real time network.  Friends, family. This is a social utility that operates with sacrifice, disappointment, compromise, joy, gratitude, bitter disappointment and history. That much hasn't changed.  So what is the real time benefit to Facebook?  For me, its about refining my online voice. I'm a writer.  And it's also about watching the performance of personality.  Including my own.  Let the show begin.


  1. I found my interest in Facebook was a rather quick curve. I sniffed around, liked it and started engaging and now have very little to do with it.
    I tired of reading when someone was going to work, bed, etc. and I made the mistake of getting political/current events in my status posts. Once I started scratching the surface and finding out what my "friends" have under there I ran away!!!

  2. I know--- its an interesting twist on socializing, or perhaps its Andy Warhol's version of everybody being the star of their own universe.