"We talked at length about the familiar but still-powerful compartmentalization phenomenon, one in which “good guys”, those who strive to do justice with their lives and with their bodies, live a separate, secretive sexual life (usually involving pornography) that seems, at least to the guys themselves, to be something profoundly shameful. Timothy Beneke’s Men on Rape is now out of print, but one of the many memorable lines within that invaluable text is this: “I’m not aware of any common English phrases that allow one to express sexual desire in a way that acknowledges both lust and humanity."
Saturday, September 26, 2009
She'll bury you with you jargon, rules, regulations which she can quote verbatim, when scolding you. These are the worst type of women--- women who hate other women, who want nothing more than to crush you, flatten you into subservience, mold you in their image, so you lose your magic, your vitality, your spirit. Forget the witches of mythology and fairy-tales. I'll take Hecate any day over a woman like this--- these are the people who rule by fear, who get their sense of worth by how small they can make you feel.
Give me the Wicked Stepmother conniving to kill her daughter, give me Medusa who can turn a man to stone, give me Medea who slaughtered her children, give me Lilith, Salome, or even Lizzie Borden--- just keep me safe from Cunt Deluxe, and I will be eternally grateful.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
"If these five guys have no sense of shame, they should at least shut up. No young woman would consent to having sex with five guys in a bathroom unless she was seriously troubled...if they did not understand she has psychological problems, they certainly should have...it was not so much a matter of consent as descent...these five may not be guilty, but that does not make them innocent."Thank God. I am grateful that Mr. Daly is trying to get these guys to to stop complaining about how their reputation is forever tarnished. This doesn't condone false accusations but it does speak volumes about how the objectification of women harms both sexes.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
I teach 18 year old young women. Some of them, like Ms. Ndonye, are recent immigrants from Africa--- and I may be guilty of over generalizing here--- but in my eight years of experience, that's 16 semesters, these women come from devout homes, from good families, and they are indeed polite, well-mannered, quiet and hard working; sweet and kind almost to a fault. I cannot fathom a young girl, kissing a man on the dance floor, the man saying "I have friends here with me," and the girl replying, "Bring them along. It'll be hot." And then having sex with five strange men in a bathroom.
It's not the first time a woman has retracted rape allegations. Most of the time a woman's change of heart is tied up with the thought of public humiliation added on to the private horror. It certainly doesn't mean these men are innocent. In fact it galls me to see their beleaguered expressions in the paper, their statement, "My name is forever tarnished. I'll always have to explain it." You're damn right you will. Whatever happened in that bathroom was not innocent, and I highly doubt it was 100% consensual. If anything its that gray area --- the ambiguous and highly charged landscape of date rape.
Camille Paglia claims that women ought to recognize and respect that men are beasts and women need to behave accordingly. Don't go to frat parties, get dead drunk and allow yourself to become a victim. Part of me agrees with this--- but part of me says, what about the young men who are growing up with a sense of entitlement and with no respect for women? I don't think these young men are degenerates who deserve to spend the rest of their lives in jail. But surely some punishment is in order. As I said, date rape is hard to categorize, and I'm sure that much more difficult to prosecute. But ask me to believe that an 18 year old honor student, characterized as "brilliant" and "polite" would agree to have sex with five men? No, that's impossible.
I can't be the only person who finds this hard to believe. I can't be the only person who knows that her side of the story is missing from the equation.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
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On the plus side, Brooklyn has been compared to Paris in the 1920's, the Left Bank--- for the proliferation of writers, bloggers, and indie houses that have bloomed like geraniums in flower boxes on the brownstones. It's good to be here, folks, it's good to be in Brooklyn. Love it. Love it.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
I'll bet you are a very unhappy very arrogant bitch who no one loves.
Still, though, I would like to thank you. Yes. You read that right. I am grateful. You are the reason I keep this blog. It is virtually impossible to go an entire week without reading about a woman who's been murdered by a man "who loves her." And if you want to get all international about it, it's virtually impossible to go an entire week without reading about a woman or women who are being raped--- spoils of war and all that.
It's also virtually impossible to go an entire week without someone invoking that tired old stereotype, "arrogant bitch" about smart women who seek to have a voice in this world. I've said this before and I'll say it again, I am grateful that I live in the 21st century where the opportunities for women to have a voice are legion.
We've not even begun to approach parity in terms of economic gains or political power, but at least the days when we would be burned at the stake as witches are long gone. So here's to you anonymous person:
Thanks for giving me the juice to continue my work.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Moving on to other topics:
I'm glad that Ashley Dupree has had her say in the media. She is not as the press has labeled her, the woman who brought the governor down. He did that all on his own. In my own personal brand of feminism, which I feel free to create as I see fit, women who sell their bodies for sex are all right in my book. Feminism has to work harder to be more inclusive. Camille Paglia made this point about Sarah Palin, and as much as I hate to agree with her, I do.
I read How to Make Love Like a Porn Star by Jenna Jameson and I admire her. I didn't at first. She's all sex all the time, 24 hr, 7 days wk. She's found her niche in the world and makes no apologies. I respect the fact that being gang-raped didn't destroy her, and that fact alone is amazing. She runs her own company and makes her own rules. Good for her. Since the porn industry exploded into the public consciousness in the 1970's women indeed have come a long way baby.
Feminism must include the whores, the sluts, the academics, the poets, the madwomen, the wives, the mistresses, the gold-diggers even the bureaucrats who hate other women, or it simply will not survive in any viable way in the future. It will become an outdated, ill-fated once brilliant and beautiful idea now tarnished by its own dogmatism.