Monday, January 12, 2009

You go with your fierce self

I watched the Golden Globes with the sound turned off, I only like to look at the dresses. This year JLO turned it out in that gold metallic, titty baring, booty hugging gown. And she wore it with such casual grace--- like, I know I'm almost naked, but don't you wish you were as fabulous as I am? And my answer to that is, yes, baby, I wish it, with all my heart. I'm glad you can't keep a good diva down. Anne Hathaway has also found her groove, that girl is gorgeous. Some people have been dissing Drew Barrymore's Galliano gown. I beg to differ. She had that whole Marilyn Monroe thing going on and it was tight. Loved the big blonde pouffy hair, the turquoise eyeshadow. Finally Beyonce in an Elie Saab--- everyone should be working with her stylist, the sunburst of diamonds around her neck was stellar. That is presentation. That is glamour.

Who's lost it? Cameron Diaz needs to reinvent herself. She's always a sunny California blonde in a ball gown. That is played out. Maggie Gyllenhall strives for an edge but always fall off. Demi Moore I'm sorry but one day, soon, your face is going to fall and you will be middle-aged. That is no reason to dis your daugther in front of eighty million people. Yes, I had the sound on, for about ten minutes. Long enough to hear Ms. Moore tell her daughter to stand up straight. Mama? What's up with that? I loved it when JLO rebuked someone in the audience for talking when she was talking! DIVA. She was like--- Hey, mama talking. That's right, the Latino bitch goddess is onstage, everybody quiet.

In the safe and boring category, Kate Winslet. Which was disappointing because the Herve Leger band-aid dress looked fabulous on her. That was like letting the tiger out of the cage, meeooww. Finally I don't get the fuss about Madonna's crotch baring ad campaign. Let us please try and redefine who we are, on our own terms, without those old stereotypes rising up. Maybe she's ridiculous, maybe she's not. But look at those legs. That body. Shit. 100 years ago most of us were dead at 50 from giving birth to eight children. So Madonna you go with your fierce self.

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