I stopped at Close Out Connection, the local discount store for poor people. Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself, but beyond that I thought, well let me see what they got. They got a lot of shit, is what they got--- but also surprisingly some good bargains. I got a tub of dishwashing liquid for $1.29 which was a real miracle, and the hair pomade I pay $7.69 at Rite Aid, cost $1.29 here. So that was pretty amazing. $4.00 for a box of 600 aspirins, generic, but who cares. A new goose down comforter, queen sized for $50.00, goose down pillows for $15.00, a gallon of Drano for $3.00.
Too bad the over-all look and feel of the store is institutional and bleak, dirty and dusty. Good name brand bras for $5.00 but filthy. So those I would never buy. I checked out the demographic; black people, white people, Spanish people, mostly women. One woman didn't speak English and wanted me to weigh in on a mattress pad for a crib. I wondered why she thought I would know what I was talking about. I did the best I could and assured her it was probably alright via sign language.
They had wine glasses, salad bowls, flash lights, umbrellas, gum, candy, chocolate, even extra virgin olive oil. I couldn't wait to get out of there. I think I am my mother's daughter. This hurt my pride, my ambition, the great plans I had about my "future." As a young child, we were dirt poor. Mom cooked batches of pea soup, wouldn't apply for food stamps and our apartment was over-run by mice. It's like I carry a little bit of that history in my heart, and it won't let go.
Life is cyclical. Sometimes, you are up. And sometimes you are down. The only certain thing is change. It's what keep me going.
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